Men and women are completely different animals when it comes to communication. Sometimes a woman thinks she’s sending obvious signals about her feelings, but a man may misread them entirely. Women and men have to be careful about their communication because the receiver of the message may be sensitive or volatile. Women in abusive relationships must be especially careful. The delivery of your communication can determine the direction of your entire relationship.

Here are the top ten ways to express your unhappiness to your boyfriend without having it turn into a big fight:

  1. Be unavailable. Find a hobby and stay busy with it, a lot.
  2. Stop checking in. If you usually check in daily to discuss how your days are going. Stop. Don’t call. Don’t answer the phone either. If he calls to chat, be unavailable.
  3. Make plans to do things with your “girl” friends. Don’t go out clubbing or partying. Show him that you have a life of your own. Let him know he’s not the center of your world and that without him you actually still do exist.
  4. Send him an email or text about what’s bothering you. This isn’t the best form of communication if you expect it to turn out wonderful, but if it’s electronic, you can’t have an actual fight.
  5. Leave articles, books or blog postings about the specific topic that’s bothering you lying around for him to “find” casually.
  6. Confide in a friend of his and have that friend talk to him for you.
  7. Dump him without leaving a trail. This only works if you have no desire to continue the relationship. Curtail all communication and just end it. He can’t fight with you if he can’t find you.
  8. Get together with healthy couples. Let him see what a healthy couple looks like, and then talk admirably about the couple after your encounter. Tell him what you love about their relationship that you wish the two of you had together.
  9. Discuss your feelings of unhappiness with him, with tears. Don’t cry excessively, though. Talk more than you cry. Discussion is good. Tears can be your friend. If he walks away, let him.
  10. Express your feelings calmly without making it seem like it’s entirely his fault. Own some of the blame. Try to have a regular conversation about it. But don’t pin all the blame on him, even if you feel like it is all his fault.


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