Although your boyfriend or girlfriend may not come right out and say it, no one likes a needy partner. Insecurity, anxiety, nitpicking, lack of confidence, and excessive contact are all some side effects of feeling too dependent and scared that your significant other may up and leave. If any of the above traits sound like you, you don’t have to spend another day feeling this way. Here are some tips to reduce your neediness for a happier and healthier relationship.
10. Relinquish Control
When you’re in a relationship with another person, you cannot control them. Their thoughts, behaviors, and actions are entirely their own. While that does mean that you can’t prevent them from breaking up with you, worrying about that and trying to control the present just creates unnecessary stress. Let go. You cannot control everything.
9. Deal with Your Anxiety and Trust Issues
If you have deep-seated anxiety and trust issues, it may be a good idea to seek out a therapist or another trusted mental health professional to talk to. You can learn how to cope. Breathing techniques can also alleviate anxiety.
8. Take up New Hobbies
Don’t let your relationship become the central focus in your life. To prevent calling and texting your significant other too much, pick up a new hobby or activity. Learn a language, play a sport, take an arts class. Keep yourself busy.
7. Let Your Partner Breathe
If you texted your sweetie an hour ago and still haven’t heard back, resist the urge to pick up the phone and text them again. Let them have their space. Go take a walk, watch a TV show, listen to your favorite song, or call a trusted family member or friend instead.
6. Befriend Others
By having a number of friends and confidantes that you associate with, the burden isn’t so much on your partner to talk you through everything. You can learn that you can rely on different people, which may lead to some of your needy behaviors disappearing.
5. Don’t Let the Past Dictate the Future
If you’ve had catastrophic relationships that ended badly in the past, don’t let these influence your present and future. You’re dating someone completely different who operates and handles everything in another way. They won’t act like your ex.
4. Increase Your Value and Self-Esteem
To feel more secure in your relationship, work on feeling more secure in yourself. Get a haircut, replace your wardrobe, work out, or volunteer to boost self-esteem. If you’re confident, you won’t be so worried about your partner bailing.
3. Don’t Obsess over the Negatives
In everyday life, it’s too easy to zero in on what’s wrong instead of what’s going right. Consider starting a gratitude journal to keep your mindset balanced. Write in it on a daily basis and reflect on all the good that happened to you that day whether it’s related to your significant other or not.
2. Don’t Create Issues Where None Exist
Your boyfriend just added a female on Facebook or your girlfriend is working with her male coworker on a big project after hours one day. If you trust your partner, these shouldn’t be end-of-the-world scenarios. By creating problems where there are none, you’re embracing the negative too much.
1. Talk It out
Finally, sit down with your partner and talk openly about your needy tendencies. Sometimes expressing fears and letting your partner alleviate them can be helpful. Just make sure not to become too dependent on this.